Beth Armstrong

Christian wife, mom, & author. Doing life with my eyes fixed on Jesus. I walk, I stumble, I fall. But God is big. And this is what I write about… Thanks for stopping by!

DOESN’T GOD OWE ME?

I have this thought. And I can’t seem to shake it. I know it’s not a right thought, but still I have it.

Are you ready to hear it? You might want to sit down or read this when you have a moment to ponder it.

Here goes…

Since I’m “on God’s team” and I “play hard for Him” He should reward me. I know, it may sound ridiculous to some of you. But to others, you know exactly how I feel.

I deal with people every day. I’m around Christians and non-Christians every day. I hang out with people who are in their teens all the way up to their 90s. And it seems that every day I see this sense of entitlement growing. People from all walks of life act like someone owes them something. There are some older folks who do act like this, but attitude of entitlement certainly grows as the age gets younger. The 20-somethings are terrible. Spend some time with one and you’ll quickly see how highly they think of themselves and how everyone should cater to their needs, wants, and desires in some way, shape, or form. They’re so special, they deserve it…and you owe them. Just ask them. And if that’s not enough, I think teenagers might be worse. Ugh!

But then there’s me. Now I don’t consider myself one to have an attitude of entitlement. I don’t expect anyone to cater to me, serve me, dote on me, wait on me, or put my needs above theirs. Thankfully, this is how we were raised in my home. But the funny thing is, although I would cringe if I expected special treatment from you, I find myself expecting it from God.

Here’s where it gets cold, hard, ugly, and raw…I see people who are successful and happy—who are getting everything they hoped and dreamed for—but who have neglected their children, been divorced, had an abortion, don’t go to church, etc. Yet, things work out for them. They get the dream job. They land the big contract. They sign the big book deal. They go to Africa and adopt 3 kids. And life is wonderful. They seemingly get all the blessings from God that they desire.

Here’s where it gets uglier…I’m a pretty good person. I’m far from perfect. And will admit I’m sinful. At times very sinful. But I try my best to pour into people, love on people, point people toward God, tell people about Jesus, bless people, meet people’s needs, etc. I pray for them. I pray with them. Yet my life is far from where I want it to be. It’s far from wonderful. It’s so far from what I have hoped or dreamed or wanted or longed for.

Aren’t “those people” sinful too? Haven’t “those people” screwed things up? Some of “those people” aren’t even Christians, so what gives?

But here’s where ugly meets Truth…As I stated above, since I’m “on God’s team” and I “play hard for Him” I feel as though He should reward me. {Enter my own attitude of entitlement.} You see, my sense of entitlement doesn’t play out horizontally (as in with others). It plays out vertically (as in with God). You don’t owe me anything. But God does. That’s the ugly part. But the Truth part of this whole thing is that God doesn’t owe me anything. God doesn’t answer to me. God doesn’t exist to meet my every whim and desire. God’s daily agenda doesn’t include “make sure to do something nice for Beth today.”

You see, God doesn’t have to play fair or play nice. He blesses whom He chooses to bless. He disciplines whom He chooses to discipline. This is Truth. And it’s this Truth that I know deep within me, but I don’t like deep within me. I have to remind myself of it over and over again.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said one profound thing after another. And here’s the most profound thing I have to remind myself of almost daily, God “causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” Matthew 5:46.

He’s God, I’m not. He picks. He chooses. It’s not my call.

Who am I to question Him, or make demands? Just as Job how that worked out for him.

God doesn’t owe me anything.

And as soon as I get this truth through my thick skull, I might just be able to get my mind fixed and focused on Him in the way that He longs for.

God. God only. Just God. Not me.

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