Beth Armstrong

Christian wife, mom, & author. Doing life with my eyes fixed on Jesus. I walk, I stumble, I fall. But God is big. And this is what I write about… Thanks for stopping by!

FERTILIZING YOUR LIFE: 3 Questions to Ask Before Bailing

“The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.”


Do you know why? Because they work at it. They invest time, money, and energy in making it so. And you haven’t. It’s plain and simple.

When we look at our jobs, our marriages, our churches, our homes, our schools, or even our cars, it is so easy to think, “I wish I had what they had. Theirs is so much better than ours. They offer more perks than mine. Theirs is so much more exciting. That one seems to far exceed mine.”

So goes our thinking. And when we think long enough in that way, our feet follow quickly behind. We end up leaving our jobs, marriages, churches, etc.

My question is: What have you done to fertilize your own side of the fence?

1)    Have you planted seeds? Seeds of discontent, bitterness, negativity, jealousy, anger, and pride don’t grow anything positive. Let us not forget the old saying, “You reap what you sow.” Try sowing seeds of joy, humility, helpfulness, kindness, and encouragement in your job, marriage, church, etc.

2)    Have you pulled the weeds? Weeds are ugly. Weeds are also aggressive. They can choke out good stuff rapidly. You must not neglect the weeds. You must not take them for granted as “just part of it.” You cannot heal what you’re not willing to confront. And you cannot get rid of the weeds unless you work at it. It takes time, effort, money, sweat, tears, etc. And in order to find all the weeds, we must also look in the mirror.

3)    Have you watered? Our first response to this question is always a resounding, “Yes!” But sprinkling is much different than full on irrigation. A few drops of life-giving water here and there don’t cut it. If you really want something to grow and flourish and thrive, you have to drench it in love, quality time, listening, encouragement, grace, and forgiveness.

The next time you find yourself wrestling with the thought that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, stop and consider the contribution you’ve made to your side of that fence. Odds are that if you bail on your job, spouse, church, family, home, or school because you’re discontent, then you’ll end up bailing on the next one as well.

Fertilizer anyone?


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2 thoughts on “FERTILIZING YOUR LIFE: 3 Questions to Ask Before Bailing

  1. That is so true! I have seen it happen in relationships over and over, it’s very frustrating. I think I need to improve on #2 and #3; pulling weeds often requires confrontation and I tend to avoid that like the plague! I also need to do more drenching!

  2. Angela,
    I think these 3 things are truly areas we all could work on in every aspect of our lives even if we’re not contemplating leaving. The key is our willingness!

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